Why do we self-sabotage ourselves, our progress or under estimate our own potential? Why do we best ourselves up when we make mistakes?
There are several factors that play into being your own worst enemy. First, we all have a set of core beliefs that we draw from in our sub conscious. These beliefs surface from our sub conscious constantly. They rise up when we are trying to make decisions, when we are stressed or triggered by the opinions of others. We have the thought and instead of looking at the thought with a critical eye, we accept it as a fact and then a feeling develops out of the negative thought. This feeling can then become an action. The action may simply be to shut down or it may be to expand this thought with other negative thoughts. For examples; you have the thought that someone is ignoring you. The feeling then becomes "I am unlovable and they don't like me." You have begun to follow this pattern and it continues with thoughts and feelings that are negative and unproductive. You tell yourself, "I have always been unlovable because I am a failure and ugly..." You get the picture.
WhatI ask my clients when they get into this negative feedback loop is what would you say to your best friend if they were saying these things about themselves? Wouldn't you think, "Why are they so hard on themselves? That is so silly.They have everything going for them. I admire them and all they have accomplished."
The most important tools to have in your toolbox is "awareness". I will write more about this in future blogs because I have studied and practiced awareness a great deal and found that it is the simplest form of treatment to resolve many mental health issues. Do a double check of the fact before you believe the thoughts that surface out of your sub conscious and evaluate the source. Where is this coming from and do I really believe this? Do I want to continue this thought and let it determine the way I feel about myself orothers?
There are many tools, interventions, exercises and treatments that I use with my clients to help them develop awareness, become their own best friend and improve the way they feel about themselves. Feeling good about yourself will also improve your relationships with others and your ability to be more productive as a parent, a spouse and in your career life. If you would like to learn more please call or email me. I would be happy to discuss some treatment options with you and we can get started helping your gain a new perspective on your life.