I wrote this blog back in 2012; however, there were several things that I noticed in clients that prompted me to publish it again.. We are beginning of another new year. With the new year, we will reevaluate where we are in our lives. This is just a little food for thought, I thought was worth sharing, again..
"How Garbage Piles Up"
as I began to prepare dinner I opened my trash container in the kitchen
and was shocked to see that the bin was full, again. My immediate
thought, “how many times do I have to empty this stupid trash?” Then I thought,
“Where does all the trash come from?” With no children at home it is just
my husband and I, but we still have tons of trash every day. The trash
seems to multiple on its own. If we become distracted and forget to
remove it, it will take over our lives.
I am working with clients in my practice, I see their mental and
emotional trash bins get fuller every day. I have been thinking about
this problem and wondering what we can do to combat the burden of trash
in our lives.
know that if you have assign the task of taken out the trash in your home
to someone else, especially children; sometimes you have to constantly
remind them to take the trash out. If it isn’t taken out in begins to
pile up. It smells, it is unsanitary, frustrating, annoying, depressing,
distracting and clutters your home. There are some people who take the
trash and begin to feel that it is part of them. They incorporate it into
their identity, fill a void in themselves and hoard the trash. They see
the trash as a security blanket, an armor and comfort for the other
issues or disorders that they suffer with. The trash becomes their way of
self-soothing, self-medicating and numbing their feelings.
can have mental and emotional trash accumulate in our lives and handle it
the same way as a hoarder does with actual items of trash. The mental
garbage that we have collected from the past has an impact on her
experiences today. It disturbs our thinking, it has a bad odor, it
distracts us from our lives, our future, from seeing the positive events
of our lives and it is depressing and destructive to relationships, our
health, and our happiness. It can define us.
if we hold on to the garbage of our past for even a day it begins to
multiply and grow on its own.
We become distracted by the many
obligations and responsibilities of life and the trash that has begun to
accumulate in our mental trash bin gets ignored. Trash breeds trash. Just
as seeds of doubt grow, the garbage that we collect feeds itself on more
emotional and mental trash. Eventually, after we have ignored it, we see
this garbage as becomes part of the scenery of our lives. We no longer
realize the impact of this heavy burden on our everyday emotional state.
client that comes into session with issues of spousal abuse will report
that they were physically abuse in a previous relationship whether with a
parent, an ex or a stranger. Their trash bin is full of self-hate,
failure, guilt, shame, anger, doubt, pain, depression and they are
victims of their own garbage.
the same sense that hoarders see the actual clutter in their environment
as a comfort or defensive armor; when we hold on to the mental and
emotion trash of life we become addicted to the destructive behavior
that is manifested by the garbage in our lives.
We do what we know. We
know the garbage and the destructive behaviors of our past.
have had so many clients who presented to therapy with problems with
anger, overeating, addiction, conflict in the relationships, anxiety,
depression and many other issues who will tell me that the garbage of the
past does not have anything to do with their presenting issue. Hoarders
will fight anyone who tries to remove or even touch their stuff. They
become terribly upset, fearful and panic when they are confronted about
the effect that their environment has on their health and safety. They do
not believe that they have a problem and will deny that their homes are
out of control. Similarly, clients will deny that the garbage that they
are hoarding is a problem. They truly cannot see the clutter. Clients
will become angry with me, defend their feelings and refuse to
acknowledge that their mental and emotional garbage is having an effect
on their relationships with others, their health or their safety.
you get the hoarder to recognize that the clutter is a problem, which
takes time, patience and experts many hours of work; this is only the
first step. However, it is the major step to recovery.
In treatment with
my clients, getting the client to see the impact of the garbage
collection of the past is a major step forward and it also takes time.
Once the client reaches this point, the healing begins and the trash gets
you have symptoms of anger, depression, shame, grief, guilt, addiction,
conflict, sadness, feeling of self-hatred, fear, anxiety, doubt or just
want to improve the quality of your life and your impact on others call
today for a free consultation.
I realize we have three months
before we will be seeing the new year but I felt it was important to
share this early. If you want to make changes you don’t have to wait
until the new year to begin. Take
the garbage out of your life!
Do you need help with your New Year’s Resolution?
the beginning of a new year we feel refreshed and like we have been given
us a second chance to get it right. We look back at the previous year and
feel regret for what we didn’t accomplish or how we spent those precious
365 days. The reality of seeing the New Year come is similar the feeling we
get when we have another birthday. We realize that time is going and we
reevaluate where we are in our lives to where we had planned to be at this
time in our lives.
make a list or a plan for how we are going to change things for the better.
We are going to lose weight, save money, start an exercise program, spend
more time with our families or do something that we have been putting off
for the past year. We start out with all of the best intentions and we
follow our plan for a few days or even a few weeks; however, the excitement
of the change begins to fade. It just starts to feel like another year.
pattern happens for many of us over and over, year after year. We are not
lazy or unmotivated. We do not lack willpower or self-control. Yet, every
time this happens the behavior is reinforced. Each time we start to make
progress and quit, get off track or distracted the behavior is reinforced
so that the next time we start we follow the same pattern. We do what we
know and we know how this goes. This pattern becomes ingrained in our
brains. When I do X…I get X result.
my work with clients, I help then by using treatments based on cognitive
behavioral psychology to retrain and change those neuropathic brain
patterns that control our ability to make changes. It is not an easy quick
fix. As I said, I work with the clients. I coach them set up their lives
for success and stop the pattern of what I call living “Ground Hog Day”
over and over every year.
amazing thing is that getting unstuck from the pattern of your life in one
area will reinforce our ability to make changes in other areas.
If you feel
that you are at the place where you desire change; not where you are just
contemplating change call for a free consultation and we will work on making
2015 the best year of your life.
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If you would like more information and discuss coming in for an interview please give me a call. I will be happy to explain how the treatment works and evaluate if hypnotherapy can work for you. There is evidence the hypnosis helps a great deal with issues such as stress, anger management, panic attacks, phobias, obsessive compulsive, weight loss, social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder.
Schedule a free interview to see if you are a candidate for hypnotherapy. Also go to the table of context for this website to view "Hypnosis Treatment Packages" which describes our intensive treatments that target specific habits and behaviors that you may be struggling with. You pay once for each package and get the results you want.
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