Ten Reasons You Should Not Get Married
1. If you want someone to make you happy until death do you part. Yes, I know this goes against what we have always been told about the marital union. However, if you are not happy with yourself, someone else will not make you happy. You are responsible for your own happiness.
2. Do not get married simply because you are lonely. Many people hear that when you take your marital vows you become one. You expect the other person to spend every free moment with you, liking everything you enjoy and filling your needs for constant companionship.
At one time or another we all have experienced the creative and personally enriching potential of art. As a child, you probably found enjoyment in making drawings, coloring, cutting and pasting, finger paining, building sand castles, working with clay or even popsicle sticks. Today, as an adult you may feel you have lost your creativity or you may feel you could never be consider "artistic". However, you can still get therapeutic benefits from incorporating some art in your daily life.
When someone we love is depressed we often feel a loss of words and uneasy about how to speak to them. A client asked me recently how to approach a friend who was depressed and had attempted suicide in the past. In the fact of a difficult, heart-wrenching situation friends and loved ones unwittingly or not, make statements that put the blame on the depressed person's willpower, self-control, lack of motivation or general negative mindset. This often backfires and increases that person's feelings of isolation and hopelessness.
Recent national and world events have created many heated
discussions on social media and the news. As I listened and read these I noted the similarities between the
arguments of politicians and those of my clients in their relationships. I believe those discussions are based on
personal vision or perceptions. Let me
give you an example that I use often with my clients. Imagine yourself on a dock watching a ship
sail off in the distance. You watch as
it disappears and remark to your friend standing next you that “it’s
Nearly every person who
is grieving has been told by well-meaning family and friends to keep busy in
the aftermath of a loss. The same advice
is given when someone is dealing with a trauma, heart ship or loss. Many people
have nearly worked themselves into exhaustion trying to stay busy so they
wouldn’t feel the pain that was the normal and natural by-product of the loss
that affected them. We know the primary reason that the myth of keeping busy
persists is because it is linked—almost like a satellite—to another major myth,
that Grief Just Takes Time or Time Heals All Wounds.
How does your relationship affect
Research shows that strong partnerships can
help us avoid illness, adopt healthier habits, and live longer. On the other hand, troubled relationships
tend to breed stress and weaken immune systems.
In addition there are other factors such as;weight grain
is some truth that couples let themselves go after pairing off,stress
– regular physical intimacy appears to reduce stress and boost
- higher blood levels of oxytocin – the hormone
believed to ease stress and improve mood is higher after hugging,
Do you have good boundaries in your life? Boundaries are like fences around your
property to protect it. You may have
grown up in a home where boundaries were not taught. Here are some of the things that good
boundaries protect: your trust, your
need to have a voice, express your feelings and not having your feelings
controlled by others, control over how you live your life, your opinion, your
priorities and your values. If you grew
up in a home where there were no good boundaries you may have felt that your
voice, your thoughts, opinions and you yourself did not have value.
Are you lonely? We
all have the innate sense of wanting to be connected. However, sometime that doesn’t happen or it
doesn’t work out and you find yourself alone, again. Unfortunately, there are also people who
spend years in a marriage and are suffer from devastating loneness and
depression. You can be around people 24
hours a day but if there is no connection, you are still lonely. Feeling isolated can have a serious detrimental
effect on your mental and physical health.
What is your passion? Is this a difficult question? Are
you struggling with it or did a dozen things pop in your head? Let’s say that you couldn’t think of
anything. Why? What does that mean? Have you ever thought about the fact that you
are living your life and don’t know what your passion is? On the other hand let’s say you have thought
of a dozen things that you are passionate about. Are you able to focus on those? If you know what you passion is what did you
do today to live your passion?