This time of year we seem to reflect on our lives and the things we didn’t accomplish. We look at the long list of New Year’s Resolutions we made at the end of last year and beat ourselves up. What does this do for our self-esteem, our attitude or our mental health? You may feel that it motivates you to do better this year; however, I would disagree.
If you do need to assess your productivity over the last year, I would suggest that you first look at what you have accomplished. Celebrate your achievements and analysis how you made the changes that you made.
Next, I would recommend that you look at what you did not achieve on your list and decide what value you put on that goal. You may realize that despite the fact that at the end of last year it was important to you that you were not invested in it. Your life may have changed and you may need to take it off your list. It is perfectly fine to go to plan “B”. Changing your course and refocusing on what is really important can help.
One thing that I have found helpful with clients who have several goals is to list them in order of priority. You may have some specific goals such as improve your health, changing careers or getting your finances in order. These goals may be more important to you than painting the inside of your cabinets or organizing your pantry. Decide what the priority level is for each goal.
Another helpful way to focus on your goals is to assign a time line to each goal. This can be a due date or a time frame for achieve your goal. By giving yourself a time limit you can avoid procrastination. Furthermore, this strategy helps you break down your goals into manageable bites.
As you look at the list from last year and feel that you have carried forward goals year after year, ask yourself what or who is standing in your way? What are the obstacles that are blocking your success? You may discover that you are your own worst enemy instead of being your own best friend. What I am saying is, if you have continued to put the needs of others before yours despite telling yourself that you really would like to reach your goal, you are not being your own best friend. Would you tell your best friend to not take care of themselves? Or would you tell them to give themselves grace and treat themselves with love. Doing this will be the greatest gift you can give yourself physically and mentally in 2013.
Finally, make a list of all the wonderful things that you have accomplished over the last year. Yes, there are things you have achieved. Celebrate yourself and be kind to yourself. This self-care will help you be a better partner, spouse, parent or friend.
You may need additional support with fulfilling your goals, stopping dysfunctional habits or just procrastinating. Take the steps today, before the change your mind and put someone else first, call for a free consultation or information about therapy and coaching. We also have a group forming for working on procrastination. I look forward to helping you!
Best wishes for the New Year!