Often as we observe someone who conquered and survived some incredible feat, such as climbing Mt. Everest, or swimming the English Channel, we comment on how much strength they have. Reading about the pioneers and settlers crossing the country by covered wagons, we are in awe at how much strength they must have had. Hearing stories of triumph about people like Christopher Reeves, inspires us with their strength to continue fighting against all odds. We wonder where these individuals get the strength that they demonstrate when we struggle to survive our ordinary lives. You may also feel that you could never be as strong in your own life, and become discouraged.
“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more “manhood” to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind” ~ Alex Karras
You can find the strength with in you. However,as the quote says,it doesn't take muscles.” Nor is it in the domination of others. We have all felt the strength in those who are able to remain silent. Although speaking out for your principles, against the opposition, takes tremendous strength.
“I understand now that the vulnerability I’ve always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can’t experiences life without feeling life. What I’ve learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not weakness, it’s a strength.” ~ Elisabeth Shue
You may need to think about the quote above for a moment. Speaking out for your principles does make you vulnerable; however, being able to feel and expose your flaws, your secrets and your fears to another person makes us all feel vulnerable. Being vulnerable to rejection and failure takes tremendous strength. In therapy many clients present expressing that they have no self-confidence. The lack of self-confidence is fear based. They are fearful of rejection, criticism and failure. They do not want to be vulnerable. They have not developed strength.
So I am sure you are wondering how you develop strength. It is not as simple as going to the gym to work out every day however; it does take practice, experience and work. My approach with clients is to build on the strengths that they already have. You may not believe that you are not strong because you have been so overwhelmed by fear or because you are living with the failures of your past. These are road blocks and we work to turn those into stepping stones that you can use to overcome whatever fears you have.
I am very focused on choices in my approach to client care. is that believe we make choices everyday that, keep us stuck in the place we are. Yes, making a choice to make changes in your life can make you vulnerable, and it does take strength to accept you have to take responsibility for your own life. You may be living with the choices others have made, and not realize it or you may realize it, and blame them for controlling your life. Unfortunately, you made the choice to allow the control. Believe me, I hear that so often. Clients are fearful and they give up their own voice so that they can “get along”, and this makes them feel even more fearful and weak. Being vulnerable is not about allowing others to control you, but it is to be willing to take responsibility for your own destiny, and live with the consequences. That is what builds strength. The more you take the responsibility for your own life and your choices the stronger you will feel.
Where are you? Are you where you want to be? Are you making choices out of fear? What’s holding you back? Do you recognize your road blocks, your strengths and where you are not allowing yourself to be vulnerable? If you would like to make a commitment to change, build your strengths and live a feeling life, please call me for an interview. We will find your strengths and we will build your new life around them!